Combating Loneliness

Dave Bernard, author and blogger  http://lovebeingretired.com/about/ has this to say about loneliness

If I have any hope of surviving loneliness, it is important that I am comfortable with myself. Having confidence that I am better alone than with the wrong person is a big plus. Knowing that I do not need someone to make my life complete unless it is the right someone. Realizing that I can have a wonderful, fulfilling life with friends and acquaintances, traveling and playing to my heart content, and that I do not require another person to complete me. I am complete with me.With this self awareness and confidence, being alone is not the end of the world. It is a stage that will last for whatever period of time and during that time, I will live my life and remember to focus on what really matters.

 If you are lonely when you are alone, you are bad company ~ Jean-Paul Sartre

What can I do?

If I want to survive and move beyond loneliness, I need to get active, take a chance, and be someone that others want to be with.

  • Get active – it is up to me to take action. Sitting back and waiting for something to change or improve is not going to do it. I need to take responsibility for my life and be willing to take a chance, to reach out to others, to take the first step. Rather than sitting at home alone, go to places where people congregate – churches, social groups, senior centers, classes, festivals, musical events. And when I get there, I don’t want to sit back and wait for something to happen. I need to reach out and make an effort to meet to engage with others.
  • Take a chance – when you reach out to someone there is the chance that you may get rejected. Nothing is scarier than the possibility that once you build up the courage to start a conversation the other party will not be interested.  What is the worst that can happen?
  • Be someone that others want to be around – I am not suggesting that you magically transform into an entertainer or that drastic modifications are the way to go. But each of us can tweak something just a bit to make us more fun to be with. A positive upbeat person is more fun to be with. Someone with a smile on their face is more pleasant to look at than with a grimace.

And finally, what really matters is family, friends, love given and received.

 

 

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