Beginning with an Ending

Key Concept

This Module marks the beginning of the Transition Process - Ending / Going Within / New Beginning. While you can jump from one Module to any other, we recommend that you follow the given sequence. It is, after all, a Journey and the Modules are your road-map. We hope that the Open Community has been of value to you, but it is within the Private Community that we can really get to grips with what retirement and old age really mean to you. You may have "met" one or more of the Elder Coaches and we hope that over time you build a closer relationship with them and your fellow travellers.  


All Transitions follow the same pattern; first there must be an Ending. The way things are, the way things have been done, the way you have been up till now, must come to an end. Without that ending there can be no transition – just more “same old, same old”. After having considered this module you will be able to answer the questions What must I let go? What lessons do I want to take with me? What must I leave behind?”

Endings are difficult

Our whole life thus far has been conducted according to the thoughts and beliefs we hold. Those thoughts and beliefs determine how we behave and guide the actions we take. The actions we take determine the results we get.


But our thoughts and beliefs have been with us so long that most of the time we don’t even notice when they kick in. So we need to raise them to our consciousness.

More often than not we are at a place we had no intention of being in. Life happened and we responded. Our beliefs seem to grow out of nowhere and our attitudes arrived on our doorstep fully formed. Most of the time we don't question the origin of those beliefs and attitudes.

Louise Hay in her “little blue book”, Heal your Body, says "When you were a tiny baby, you were pure joy and love – you knew you were perfect. All the rest is learned nonsense and can be unlearned."

Children are domesticated the same way we domesticate a dog or cat – we punish and give rewards. The result is surrender to society’s beliefs with our agreement. The domestication is so strong that eventually we don’t need others to domesticate us – we do it to ourselves. Don Miguel Ruiz. The 4 Agreements

How often have we said “that’s the way I am” or “that’s the way it is”. What we are really saying is that is what we believe to be true for us. Usually what we believe is only someone else’s opinion that we have accepted and incorporated into our own belief system.

Stop for a moment and catch your thought. What are you thinking about yourself right now? If thoughts shape your life and experiences, would you want this thought to become true for you today, tomorrow and forever?

What is Ending?

An easy way to consider different aspects of your life is to use Mind Maps

A Mind Map is a free-form diagram. As ideas and thoughts come to you, you can scribble them down in roughly common groupings in the diagram. A spider-web of lines can then connect related ideas. You can use the maps to create a picture of what in your life is working for you, what in your life is not working for you and what is your vision for the life you want to lead?

Although you could do the exercise electronically, it is far easier to take a large sheet of paper, a handful of coloured pencils, your favourite CD and a glass of good quality wine - and let the thinking flow! (The Mind Map below will give you some idea of what it could look like.)


Mind Map Guidelines

  1. Draw an Oval in the centre of a large piece of paper and write in the subject of the Mind Map you are going to draw.
  2. Around the Oval write down the headings of the things you want to consider (don’t fuss over this – just write down the different categories of things that come to mind. You can cross them out if they turn out to be irrelevant and you can add others as you go.)
  3. Like spokes in a wheel, connect each of those headings to the Oval. Then without thinking too hard, jot down thoughts as they come to you – and it doesn’t matter if your thinking jumps from one heading to the next and back. Use lines to link connected ideas or ideas that flow out of other ideas.
  4.  Eventually you will have a big mess of words and lines. Then take different coloured pencils and circle the main themes that have emerged.
  5. Consider what came up for you, and write a brief summary of each theme.

One rule – no lists!!!

Your 1st Mind Map. How are things changing?

Try not to think too hard, just capture your thoughts as they fly by!

Your 2nd Mind Map.  Envisioning a new future

You have considered where your passion lies and have looked at what will give your life meaning and purpose.

  • What is your vision for the life you want to lead?
  • What life lessons do you want to take with you / leave behind?

Discussion Assignment - Beginning with an Ending

Look at the Mind Maps you have drawn and summarise the ideas that come up for you by answering the following 4 questions.

  • How are things changing for my future life?
  • What is my Vision for the life I want to lead?
  • What life lessons do I want to take with me?
  • What life lessons do I want to leave behind?

 By submitting these ideas to the Discussion Forum you could benefit from the thoughts of others and they could benefit from your thinking.

Discussion Forum

Next module : Where am I Now

Before you begin any journey, you have to know where you are starting from. So - where are you?

Next Module